Tilting Your Mind Away From Fear – I just had one of those conversations that inspired me as much as I think it inspired the gal I was talking to.
I called my mortgage lender and connected with this wonderful lady named Tabitha. She asked me a number of questions, including did I have loans for an RV, motorcycle, boat, etc.? I answered, “No, the motorcycle is paid for.” This caught her by surprise, and she responded immediately about how motorcycles freak her out. She told me to be careful.
When I mention that I ride a motorcycle to anyone who reacts in a similar way my go to response is to say “always.” I hadn’t realized until it just came out of my mouth that, when someone says that to me, they are projecting their fear of riding onto me and I am, in essence, rejecting their fear with my answer.
I told her I was going to block her fear and not take it on.
Then I explained what I usually tell women when they comment on my riding a motorcycle.
It is one of the most empowering things I’ve ever done, and I encourage all women to learn to ride.
Overcoming your fear of riding, taking charge and being in control, is an amazing feeling. Not to mention the freedom of the open road. It is such a different experience than riding a bicycle (too much sweat involved) or driving a car (which is awesome, too, but cushier).
When you are on a motorcycle, you experience the world in a much more intense way. You feel the change in temperature as you crest the hill headed to the coast. You smell the dried grass, pine trees, or ocean as you drive by. The road rumbles under your wheels and vibrates through your body.
Yes, your ass gets sore after a while and your fingers go numb if it’s too cold. So, I tend to be a fair-weather rider, sticking close to home and taking frequent breaks, but that’s okay. It’s still an awesome experience.
They say riding is one of the best forms of meditation, too. That sounds strange, since you obviously need to be uber vigilant. You also enjoy a sense of calm and relaxation. Your mind is free to process whatever it needs to as you cruise along. I think this is truer when you ride the backroads than the freeway but it’s a one of a kind phenomenon.
As the conversation with Tabitha wound to a close, I challenged her to get on a motorcycle and overcome her fear.
I encouraged her to try and relax and feel the amazing experience of the open road. Since fearfully driving a motorcycle isn’t a good idea, I suggested she find someone to take her out.
I told her to think of all the riders she knows and ask someone she trusts. Someone who will wear proper safe riding gear, go slow, and help her build her comfort level. She could explain what she wanted so the driver would understand her fear and avoid frightening her more.
Most riders are super supportive of the sport and would willingly encourage others to take up riding or driving.
An amazing culture exists among riders, and no one is judged as unworthy. No matter how small their bike or how timidly they ride.
When I explained my challenge to her, she replied, “well, you’ve definitely tilted my mind”.
And she didn’t just mean about riding motorcycles, she meant about projecting fear onto others and learning to overcome her own fears so as not to do that to others.
She blew me away. I asked her if I could quote her, and she graciously said yes.
I realized that we all do that; we project our fear onto others and try to keep them from growing or enjoying something because it scares us. It might not even scare them until we put fear into them.
Is that really fair? Should we spread fear because we are scared?
I say no. Don’t let fear rule you, and make sure you don’t put your fear on to someone else.
Stand up to whatever fear you are facing. Figure out how to tilt your mind so that you let go of it and move beyond its limitations.
Empower yourself to your next level of greatness, whatever that may be.
Thank you, Tabitha, for helping me see that I can reject others’ fear when it is projected onto me. And, maybe in doing so, I will inspire them to face that fear and overcome it themselves.
When we ended our conversation, Tabitha kindly said to me “safe travels,” which I liked a whole lot more because she was now supporting me in my journey of empowerment with her whole heart. I knew she really meant it. I hope she enjoys a bike ride without fear hampering her.
Fear is a mindset. Is it time to tilt your mind away from fear?
Sherry Lutz Herrington is the owner of Sherrington Financial Fitness, a business consulting and accounting firm specializing in strategic business planning and solid financial accounting for businesses. She is also the author of Strong Women Thriving (https://strongwomenthriving.com/), a blog which focuses on empowering women to be financially savvy, particularly after experiencing financial abuse. Sherry is currently writing a new book that both shares her personal story and addresses financial abuse. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. Join our FB group https://www.facebook.com/groups/womensurivingfinancialabuse